ASSIGNMENTS:
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Mariah Csepanyi
Long Beach, California USA
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REPORTS:
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I had never eaten biscuits from a can before and I didn't know that one could easily get the can open by whacking and twisting it. Instead, I followed the directions on the can, or at least I attempted to. The directions instructed me to peel on the line. I tried but it wouldn't peel, so I grabbed a knife and tried to cut on the line. The knife slipped and I cut my finger to the bone. For some reason, I suppose not realizing the seriousness of the cut, I ran to sink and let cold water run over my finger. But as I watched the blood run down the drain with amazement I quickly realized that this wasn't a simple cut that I could wash and slap a band-aid on. This cut probably needed stitches! This wasn't something I could fix myself. I would need to involve others, and what a strange thought that was. This cut was serious. And I remember thinking, "Oh, what have I done? I didn't even really want those biscuits anyways?" I wrapped a towel around my finger and ran into my bedroom and with one hand took off my pajama bottoms and put on a pair of pants. Then I walked to the hospital down the street and waited there for 45 minutes with my bloody kitchen towel tightly wrapped around my finger. As the doctor told me I would need 10 stitches I tried not to imagine the Pillsbury Doughboy laughing at me. I imagined that by now the dough had probably slowly exploded out of the can. I just knew I would go home and find this ridiculous angry blob of bloody biscuit dough staking it's place on my counter and next to it would be a bloody knife. Sure enough, when I returned home with my swollen stitched up finger, the bloody Pillsbury Doughboy blob had expanded all over the counter. I threw it away and washed the knife with one hand. Because of that stupid accident I can not open bottles with my left hand and I when I wake up in the morning my finger is always very stiff and sore. I think it's so funny that there was a moment right before I cut myself, that well, I hadn't cut myself. And it's so funny that at that moment I had no idea what was about to happen.
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