ASSIGNMENTS:
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Alicia
Spring, Texas USA
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REPORTS:
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I was born on July 29, 1985. My parents had tried for years to have a baby and my mom had a bunch of miscarriages before I finally arrived. They were told I was going to be deaf, dumb, blind, and most likely mentally retarded because of all the trouble she had in carrying me to term, but the doctors were wrong. I was born in Conroe, Texas, but my parents were broke so my dad reenlisted in the Navy and we moved to California not long after.
I don't know what my first word was, when I took my first step, how old I was when I got my first haircut, or any of that, but I think it's safe to assume they all happened. We moved to Jacksonville, Florida after a year or so in San Diego and stayed there until 1990.
When I was in kindergarten, I started going to a private school in Orlando. There's not much of that place I remember, but I'm told it was pretty horrifying. My teacher put duct tape on our mouths when we were bad, but my parents got her fired. Another teacher at the school had been struck by lightning five times.
My dad was discharged from the Navy in 1989 when he was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. We tried to stay in Florida, but he couldn't find a decent job so we moved back to Texas and lived with my grandparents for a few months while we got back on our feet.
I started first grade in 1990. When my parents finally had me, they promised God that they would send me to only private schools until at least high school, so I went to a Lutheran school in downtown Houston. My teacher's name was Mrs. Ledbetter and I hated her. I was ahead of the other students and finished my homework faster, but she thought I had ADD and tried to convince my parents to hold me back a year even though my school work suggested otherwise. It was a real zinger when I won the spelling bee later that year and was the first first grader to ever win. There was a boy in Mrs. Seybold's class named Joe LeGrow who was my first boyfriend. We got engaged during recess one day when he gave me a ring from a cereal box.
Second grade was a lot better. My teacher's name was Ms. Zimmerman and I loved her like she was family. My school got its first computer that year and they put it in our classroom, which was pretty tight. Even though I was engaged to Joe, I also had a crush on Stuart Williams. One day on the way home from school, I wrote him a love letter and spent the entire hour-long drive practicing making lip imprints with my mom's lipstick so I could seal the envelope with a kiss. I never gave it to him and my mom kept it in the glove box for four or five years. I won the spelling bee again in second grade. Ms. Zimmerman tried to convince my parents to have me skip third grade, but we decided not to so I wouldn't be younger than everyone else.
I'm really glad I didn't skip third grade because I had Mrs. Linn and she was truly amazing. Mrs. Linn taught me to enjoy learning. She had never had chicken pox and I found out a few years ago that she died from a horrible case of it the same year I graduated high school. When I came back to school on the first day, I was told that Joe had moved to California and I was "single" again. It was this year that Clint Emshoff chased me around the field during recess for what felt like forever, screaming, "I want to have babies early!!!" That afternoon, I asked my mom what he meant and I got the sex talk that night. Katherine Paez had lied to me when she said sex was people dancing around naked. And yet again, I won the spelling bee this year.
I had Mr. Krause and my first sexy dream, but not about Mr. Krause, in fourth grade. The dream was about James Dortmundt, who was pretty much the dreamiest boy I've ever seen and I still stand by that claim, but we just kissed and held hands in my dream. I was really scared when I saw him in class the next day, though, because I thought he could tell that I had a dream about him. For the fourth year in a row, I won the spelling bee.
Fifth grade was the tolerable because of Mr. Nelson. He was the best teacher I've ever had. My dad and I used to go play golf with him once a month and we always let him win. Other than that and winning the spelling bee, it blew.
I changed schools in sixth grade because my fifth grade class had dwindled down to only five people. I was pretty miserable there and since this is my life story, I can choose to pretend those three years didn't happen. Icing on the cake? My spelling bee reign of terror came to an end. I could spell diphtheria and mnemonics, but mayonnaise was my final undoing.
When I started high school, I finally convinced my parents to let me go to public school. I joined the marching band and was essentially the worst flute player in it, even though I was the best in junior high. Regardless of how bad I sounded at first, I loved every minute of it. The football games, the contests, the practices in the hot Texas summer, everything. The best part of band, though, was meeting Leah. I quit band my senior year to be in a nursing program. As luck would have it, Leah was in there, too, and we grew real close, real fast.
There were a lot of boys in high school, most of whom broke my heart and don't deserve to be mentioned.
When I got to college, I met a guy named Blake who would eventually destroy me, but not before telling me for a year and a half that he loved me. We got engaged after less than a year of dating, but broke it off after just a few months. He was emotionally abusive and after 16 months together, he had effectively convinced me that I was worthless. I spent a year repairing the damage he did to me, but I finally realized I was better for leaving him.
After that, college became an endless cycle of hating the school and trying to transfer out of it. I was miserable and it wasn't until I moved in with Jade my junior year that I started thinking I could tolerate it here and stick it out until I graduate.
I went to New York this June and fell in love with it. Now all I do is think about moving there, work to save money to move there, plan my move there, and talk to my friends about when I will move there.
I no longer try to tolerate my school and the people here. I just stopped talking to a majority of them. It's become pretty lonely and miserable to live that way.
I like garage sales, 1920s culture, making seasonal felt hats for my oversized dinosaur clock, cookie dough, and the Half Price Bookstore by my house.
I don't like nosy people, the feathers from Lauren's comforter that fall onto my face while I sleep, the way my legs fall asleep when I keep them crossed too long in class, and the tattoo on my back.
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