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cut out of mama's belly ten days late.
at four I remember going to the garden early in the morning to try and watch the flowers open.
also trying to fly with the wind. never managed either. lucy used to terrify me at school.
i tried to escape from her by hiding in the wendy house or in the cloak rooms.
i liked her coat peg picture better than mine. they made me eat stew.
i never understood why they didn't respect my taste in food.
i had a blue velvet party dress and I was really sad when it grew too small.
my mum and dad had an argument about it, cause they couldn't afford another one.
mum used to curl my hair by twisting it and pinning it to my head.
i loved it and pretended I was shirley temple. at the age of 9, i was secretly a punk and loved ska.
my brother was my hero, played sax and drew cool lions. he always seemed to notice me.
i was really particular about my hairline and made my mum's life hell if my socks were not excatly the same length.
still feel guilty!
my nickname was skinnymalink or pug. classic anorexic teenager.
everyone thought i was posh. i wasn't, but I wanted to be.
left school with maximum qualifications and good grades and a need to get away.
lost my virginity to the man I wanted.
he didn't believe i was a virgin which was a real disappointment after waiting so long. rocknroll.
at university I tried not to be posh or particularly brainy.
was bored and deeply disturbed by my mother's nervous breakdown, my father's affair with a 27 year old and
my sister's suicide attempt. the lost years. escaped to berlin, city of lost souls.
can't explain that very well: wildnights . solitude . friends . love . lesbiansex . abortion . work . lakes . art . theatre . freespirit . scenequeen . excess . travel . security . therapy . byebyeberlin . iloveyou.
year 2000, i met a french man on a mexican beach. sunset. the internet became our place to meet. him in montreal, me in germany. we met and made a baby in france. He's nearly 2 years old now. he lives with us, some fish and a cat. Happy now.
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