ASSIGNMENTS:
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Violette
Los Angeles, California USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Advice to Violette at age 5:
1. Don't start biting your fingernails.
Advice to Violette at age 6:
2. It feels wrong because it is wrong. Put your (tiny) foot down.
Advice to Violette at age 9:
3. Stealing 20s out of Mom's wallet is wrong. Don't do it...even if you do only use it to buy G.I. Joes for Mark and Carl.
Advice to Violette at age 10:
4. Let Carl play with Aaron and you. He's younger and looking for social guidance; ostracism will only hurt him more. Whatever you don't, don't tetherball slap him across the face.
Advice to Violette at age 13:
5. You're an ultra gawky and unattractive teenager. All of your attempts to counteract that fact will only cause you to look more ridiculous. Rock it, accept it, and get on with it.
Advice to Violette at age 19:
6. I won't ask you to stop drinking, but please stop hooking up with all those boys. Most of them will never care about you. Take pity on the ones that do (especially Philip, Anthony and David).
Advice to Violette at age 20:
7. Enjoying Europe does not have to include sleeping with as many different nationalities as possible. Start asking yourself why you live this pattern.
Advice to Violette at age 21:
8. Stop drinking rum out of a burgundy university mug and chasing it with Kosher grape juice on the balcony of your parents' house. You're wasting a beautiful So-Cal summer.
Advice to Violette at age 22:
9. For God's sake, woman, BUY THE MORNING AFTER PILL after that weekend in April!
Advice to Violette at age 23:
10. Your false optimism about all of it was...ummm...false. You'll spend this year yearning for him, and you will break up anyway on a sunny afternoon in the fall from 3,000 miles away. Oh, and he wasn't taking your calls because he was with another woman. You reap what you sew. At least you've finally learned some optimism!
Advice to Violette at age 24:
11. You're only a worthless secretary for as long as you let yourself be a worthless secretary. Please quit. Please? And stop biting your fingernails. How old are you, 5???!!!
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